Can we act as if there is nothing ever happen, even the worst condition? Generally, people will think that human will have emotions, will have attitude, will have feelings. Yes, indeed different people will show them in different ways. But I can tell is that, some feelings are meant to be keep, meant to be hide away from public, thus it slowly buried inside and become apart of your life, numb.
It had been around one month since I decided to delete someone from my Facebook. At first when I made this decision, I feel very regret as I miss him so much, somehow, this makes me stronger. Stronger to face the day after tomorrow and the followings. Few reasons that I deleted him. People are selfish themselves, hence I consider myself is when I decided to protect myself from those bloody harm... Human feelings can't keep on resist what is bad at each time, so is my body, soul and mind.
Perhaps, they have reached their limits, or I'm done enough in doing my "being patience" job. In spite after deleted him, I started to feel much happier, much stronger, much freedom, much relax than before. People says eyes are the important element and it transfer what you saw to your brain, mind and heart. Yes! I agreed. Sometimes it's hurt enough to see those bloody Facebook messages, those comments that trigger my anger and maybe jealousy, or maybe hatred to those innocent people.
I feel bad that I've change to someone different and I don't really know who is she. I really miss my old-self. Finally, I can proudly say that, TianLi is back! :) She still belongs to herself, her old-self, the one that likes happiness and live to enjoy life.
Last but not least to say that, I've perhaps change a little of myself. Change the way of loving him. Give him freedom and don't ask more, tho sometimes I don't feel like giving him too much freedom. Let him decide and do what he thinks is the best, tho sometimes it's not. Believe him no matter what, even sometimes I feel that he's cheating on me. Smile, even though I'm breaking inside. Because, smile is the one thing that I can do, to make him feel easy, and live his life without worries about me.
*Pretend to be happy is not for own sake, but for other people* :)
Till now, bye. TianLi.