Tuesday, February 28, 2012

Older? :)

Grew older today. Finally I'm 21. ;) very glad because I'm no longer under the guardian.
As what people says, dreams is always not same as reality. What I had dream since I was small, totally not same as now. I hope to have a blast party, I hope to enjoy my sweet and mature 21, but it's totally upside down. I'm having my calm and back to square birthday ever. Maybe, this is the me.

But, I feel grateful. Because, without such a blast, I still feel that it's only a blast. Simple is the best. Maybe reader can conclude that it's because none help me to celebrate. But to be honest, I already feel grateful from all those wish. :) Really. Well, stop of talking that. Happy Birthday to me, and myself. :)

Saturday, February 25, 2012


Suxx presentation ever LAI TIAN LI! Darn, workloads make me drown, will be very busy these few days. ARGH! hopefully I will survive until week14. T.T

Well, went for a jog today. And it was raining. And I'm wet. I wana play rain, but not under the sweating moment, it ain't good at all! :(

Nothing much to write these few days, because all of sudden I'm wondering where are all my deep and emo feeling gone to? I don't know. I keep on pushing myself to that part because only that way I can release stress. But.... none. At all. So, should I be happy or sad? I've no feeling at all. :(

Maybe as I always said last time, this is the climax part where I'm gone to numb part, "paralyzed" my feeling inside.. Or actually I'm in the comfort zone? Where nothing will worry me much? :) then thanks God for this kind of feelings.

Wednesday, February 22, 2012


Currently, feel so miserable, uneasy, unsatisfied and more lazy feeling towards those work-load. Due date keep on pushing me to the limits and to the ends. Yet, I'm still hanging here and seems moving like a snail, laziness keep on conquer my inner part.

I must keep on remind myself to keep on moving, don't stop. I can make it, but always, there's something will keep on pulling me down, some energy that drives me to the stop point. I'm actually wondering what is the hack I'm writing here. Gosh. As a conclusion, well, my old habit comes around again, LAZINESS. oh you please, get away from my life! Shoo - ooo!

This Friday I'm going to have my first and foremost presentation ever in this Sem. I will do my best because some part of me is very excited to have the first presentation after a while yet nervous as I scare I can't do it well. But, I promised to try my best. Tyanli! Show the best of you again and boost up your confidence once again! All the best to me and all those presenter. =)

All of the time we think that something doesn't change yet it slowly moving from our life.. and we still doesn't conscious about it. Why? Because time change everything and we still live in the past.

Readers, may you have a wonderful day ahead, don't give up as there's hope for a better tomorrow.

Monday, February 6, 2012

not again. omg.

Never would I thought, that I will have these day. It's the feeling of feeling hated by others. Others, that is totally anonymous to me and also themselves. But eventually, we're somehow being connected to such unexplainable relationships. Confusing?

Never knew each other before, but connected to a third person. Because of this third person, my life changed. Changed so much. I'm the one who is winning in the battle, but I just don't know why, I feel that I'm the one who is totally lost. The feeling of never been supported by anyone, an action that is never been approved by anyone. Just me, and myself. The party that is losing, finally gain all the respects, and blissfulness of others. Hence, mentally I'm the one who losing, losing all in the end.

Sometimes, it's hard to breath in the world of him. None would understand this feeling.
I wonder when will things ended.... But, it already ended.... Why I'm feeling so helpless again.... Why?

Thursday, February 2, 2012

Come back T.T

I can feel that my 大姨妈 is coming soon...

These few days keep on stressing and I can feel the pressure started to push me down...
I wonder how is this going on? I keep on complaining not enough sleep where by I don't really spend any time on studying. Oh my, if this is my life after one month +++ of holiday at hometown, then I rather turn back the time and rather to spent it for 3 weeks, that's enough! I'm losing my studying mood!!!!

God, I pray that my study mood faster return to 'home'. Assignments, midterms, and presentations keep on loaded me but due to my laziness I keep on push them away and rather play games for not to think about it. Shit. Argh! I just want my mode to come back before it's late! 

It's the time to push my CGPA, for the sake of myself! Ish.