Saturday, December 26, 2009

my sin[] for sure

I was walking on the street, passing by a music shop; I heard that song, again. Then, the memories of you flash into my mind. Why you? Am I regretting for breaking up with you? If I do not say that last word, maybe last four months we already went through our very first anniversary… I miss you for sure. Where are you now?
I still blame myself for my stupid mistake letting you go. Have I let you go? 100%? I don’t know…
I’m still counting, counting the day that we went through if we are still together, stupid right? I’m the one who let you go, and in the end, I’m the one who still miss you… really hate myself…
I still can’t let go… for my sin…

Please save me…

Monday, December 7, 2009

dropping in and out~

Why am I always stuck in problems that I do not wish too involved? And why nobody support me? Why I am always the wrong person to blame? Why nobody ask about my feelings? Why? Is it I am the one who always make up the problems? So you all jump into the conclusion.

I do not know what is my feeling right now, just damn down! Even my friend also asks me to think. Honest? What is honest? In her world, everything just seems so simple and easy, whereas my life is full of thoughts, complicity, troubles, and misery. Honest for me is just a word. You just act honest when you get caught, and it is beyond your beliefs and gut. When can I be truly honest?

It is not that I do not want to tell the truth; maybe it is just not the right time. I think even how many times I explain, he stills stand on his own word. And yes, I am. I am the kind of person who he thinks I am. Brat. Spoilt. Sucks.

And everyone starts to blame me. And this really makes me puke all the way. How can I walk along the road? I can’t, just can’t…

Now, I seemed to be lifeless. Everything should be stop right now. My world seems to stop spinning… and I can feel my soul start to crawl out from its host.

-You can judge me all you want by using your own theory,

in case you feel your feeling will gets better*

-You can boycott me if you wish,

in case you feel I’m wrong*

-You can tell me you hate my actions and words,

in case you feel I’m irritating*

…just to tell you…

YOU are not the RIGHT person to JUDGE my life, because you don’t even know me.

Fly away~