Monday, August 24, 2009

reformat me,please

*You're the one who broke my heart,
you're the reason my world fell apart,
you're the one who made me cry,
yet I'm still in love with you and
I don't know why..*

Gimme a damn.

Sorry, my brain get stuck in every way it is.Im done.Im broken.
Is not that i don't wana try,is not that i have offence,
but i need to clear off something on my mind and heart before i start a new relationship.
I need to know whether he likes me onot before i can let go everything..
i need to know!
but,i m not dare to ask,even face him...
so,i need sumore time...
i just can't take my heart away,its too hard..sorry x(

everyone askd me hu is him.
1)he's not the one who you think.
2)repeated:not the one who you think...all wrong.
i wont tell.
1) i had promised myself.
2)world war three will start
3)im not perfect
4)i dunwan our frenship to end like that
lastly,i dunwan him to avoid me.

thats all for my explanation.
thx @.@

Thursday, August 13, 2009

my [h]ero

"Just let me ask you somet hing,if I happen to walk out of this room right now and never come back, and just forget everything and leave it all behind, would you be okay with that?

Because I have 5 steps till I close this door and you have 5 seconds to make up your mind,starting now..."

I'm only me. That is all I can be. No more, no less, dont second guess. I love, I live, I laugh, I cry. I've wished sometimes that I could die. Some days I'm funny, others I'm not, sometimes I'm overact and I can't stop. You may not like me, but that's okay because this is me and how I'll stay.

Every girl wants a Prince Charming, and while he may be nice and all, I'm thinking that I'd rather have the guy that's gonna call at 4 in the morning just to say hi.

Or someone who will stop by my house after just hanging up the phone because he wants to see how I'm really doing, because I said I was fine, but we both know I'm lying.

Or the guy who'll stay home on a Saturday night with me because I'm sick.

That guy, that one guy, he may not be Prince Charming to anyone else... but he'd be my hero.
My "knight in shining armor."
Anyone who'd rather stay home on a Saturday night and hold my hair while I puke...
that's a hero.

As Not Usual x)

Windy day~

So far,so good.The art of letting go and support him from the behind store,is always the best choice.


Seeing him smile so broad,always make my days as bright as the stars.

Assignments,i'm coming!!I'll do my best and concentrate 99% on it.

Another 1%?Relaxing,cause it's so stress when u don't even have ideas bout what to write and present.Hish.


Today,i went to TESCO and KFC.Bought one orange juice,cookie crips,a cup of tomyam maggi mee,chipsmore "double chips" and one bottle.Hhheehe.

My dad kept reminded me,"wear mask"..==okey.

And "don't go to crowd places"..==okey okey..

These few days feeling so dizzy,and i have tried to sleep early,like 12 am?Den the next morning still feeling so sleepy..especially in the English lectural class.Gosh.

Today,went to Karen's house,one motive : Sleeping!

Tho its just 15 minutes but already can kept me awake.Cool,her place is the nice spot to take a nap.Hehhe.Thanks Karen!Muachxoxo!

*i wana stay besides you,but i think her presences already can makes you feels better :)*

Wednesday, August 12, 2009

the [l]as[t] time

I think i need to let go him,as i know he's now so blissful and happy with her.I'm okey with that as long as he's happy,as long as he feels the happiness when he's with her.At least,she can brings him a wonderful and colourful life to him.I will accept the truth,and pray for them.Lols.

Finally,i can smile.A broad smile. :) maybi.

I am willing to let go.
I never felt this heartbroken before.Maybe,this is what i called,loving him secretly..i maybe don't have the chances to tell him i like him.
Being friends with him,is my pleasure and i'm so happy..
I can live without him..i think i can make it.Y?coz,seeing him so happy also make me happy..
Again i repeat:gurl,loves him deeply,don't let him go as i won't let him fall into you again.I swear.

brief feelin'

Learn to be stronger.

Learn to be tougher.

Learn to control emotions.

Learn to let go...

I'm feeling so lazy this few days.
Always sleep.

Tian Li.Be more tough,you can do it!
Learn to let him go.You two never start before.He don't even realise your present.You'r just a normal friend to him!!!

I can make it through today,but i don't know whether i can make it through tomorrow or not..

Tuesday, August 11, 2009

My Heart Is Beating *dup dap*

It's so hurt to see you.
It's so sad to know that you are right in front of me,yet u belong to other.
It's like,a thounsand of knife stabs into my heart,and again, this feeling is coming back to me.

He don't know.And i'm still confusing myself.I like him?Or it's just a feeling.Or wad?

I accept that he's no longer belongs to me.
I accept the reality,because,we never started before,i never confess to him before.So,just let it be..

Maybe,loving him secretly will help our friendships keep going on..i will not confess to him.I will not,funny,because..he's already belongs to other lucky girl :)
Just..i hope,that girl will loves him deeply,give him all her loves..if not,i will take him away..

*teardrops on my guitar*


Monday, August 10, 2009

leave me,the best way

It's 12 a.m

And,im still onlining.Ignoring those instant messages.Sitting alone inside my room.

Wondering and so confusing at the same time.Can't resist what i feel anymore,it's begin to grow larger and larger.Feeling suffocated again.

This feeling,is coming back to me again.What i'm gonna do?

Choices?no.I only have one choice.Let it be,leave it.

I think,i like someone.And i keep telling myself,we're impossible.Yeah.I'm almost done with that.I'm so dying inside.This kind of feeling keep pushing me to the limit.And i keep controlling myself from being in love again.This kind of feeling is so hurt.The main question is,i think he don't likes me.Thats all i can think about.

So,i surrender before i fight.Cause,i know i'm not good enough for him.So, let go is the way,the only way i can choose.The best way i can decide.I'm so useless.I will be regreting.I think i will..

This kind of feeling is so confusing and had gimme a tonnes of impact.I keep emo-ing myself.I'm done,I keep telling myself,enough!Stop this.But,i just can't..

You like her.That will be your answer.

Saturday, August 8, 2009

gettin' tired [DOT]


It's weekends again!! ;)
Ntg to do.Sleepin?Neh,busy preparing for next week presentations.Wa.
Tired to do dy la.
Afterwards need to go to Teoh's house.COMPUTER STUDIESsss grrrrrrr!!

Then,this evening plan to wash Matt gor's car.Dai lou.Hahhaz!
Actually wana play water..hehe.Sure fun like hell.Release tension!

X) PEACE.and Chao till now~

Friday, August 7, 2009

im wat?!

All of sudden,i felt so tired,and dissapointed towards myself.
Maybe i called this,mood swing.
Emo swinger.
Tired of pretending.[Im dying inside,.yet im smilling outside]
They said,i am good at smiling better than emo-ing,but i feel,i can't make it anymore.
Maybe just leave me alone.For today.
Im just getting tired.

Sigh alot.
Theres one thing keep running on my mind!
Actually,i don't know how to say this,
I am enough messy myself,so..
plus my friends problems,really keep me headache!
I just wana say,i am willing to help if i can..but if you keep pushing yourself in this well,nobody can help you anymore..just,let go..