Saturday, September 26, 2009

s a y cheers! x))

Finally, it’s semester break! X))

Staying home right now, for a couple days before going out to have a real fun! Best time to rest myself from the hectic campus life… dump them aside first, go have fun like; bukit climbing, naked on the beach x))( that will be a joke! ), shopping, baking cake, hanging out with some close friends, loitering(^^), enjoying pleasure time with family members and also… my garden!... shit, y they look like forest ? lols, thanks, so to nature x))

So relax to stay in home… argggghhh! I like my home! Homexsweetxhome! X))

By the way, I’m so miss my group, TA10!... >.< what can I do… msn-ing luh.. Sigh…xoxo you all! =3

w a i t i n g

Let go.

Let go is the best decision for each of us; for you and me.
I’m not going to love you. That will be my decision. The reason, very easy… I like another person.
It’s not worth for you to love me, I said it before… it’s useless… and I’m going to give and pay back all the things u have given or done for me...

I don’t know when I will give up on liking him. I think I’m just stupid, waiting for someone who didn’t even know I like him. Idiot huh? I just don’t have the gut, the gut to confess, and I really don’t want to make a mess on him… But who cares, that’s my problem… It’s just that, I will keep on pray for him and his girl :]

I will close my heart for this time. Silently support him… x)

Tuesday, September 15, 2009

lET mE gO~

I just don’t think that I can make it anymore. It doesn’t relate to my old century case. It’s just, I can’t found anyone that I feel I want to live with forever. Maybe I did! But I’ve let him go… in front of me…
Till now, I’m still waiting for him… for him to realize that I’m by his side, always!
Anyway, I’m so sorry for the one who have been courting me since… since I don’t know when… I pleased you to give me time… but I’m just sorry… I can’t make it… its hard.
You know, maybe one day I realized that you are the one who really suitable for me, you maybe have let me go… how coincidence.
No matter what, thanks for sharing whatever you had shared with me… I will go on with my life…

Monday, September 14, 2009

No-way x((

Am I too busybody? I’m an asshole digger. I screwed up on other people. I kick their asses and then tell the whole world. I’m cruel. I’m rubbish. Fine.
What happened to me recently? I’m acting like… like, no direction. What had happened?!
Don’t tell me that I’ve fall deeply… deeply into the sea of love. No, I can’t do this, I will stop myself from going down again… we’re just friends… and I care for him just like a friend… it can’t be… no way…

Sunday, September 13, 2009

I Wish... x))

Sunrise o sunrise.
I want to watch sunrise so much. But that day I just gave up because I’ve no faith, x((

Sunrise o sunrise
I want to take picture with you so much. But that day I’ve leave you… again I’ve no faith, x((

I will have the chance!x))
I won’t give up…

Friday, September 11, 2009


I'm not trying to give hope.
I will not.

I will never ever talk about it again.
No more.

Thursday, September 10, 2009


Things shouldn’t be moving right so fast, maybe human need time to observe, interpret, and then decide whether their decision is correct or other way round. Human do make mistake and don‘t realize their mistaken decision until some time.

The feeling of liking someone is wonderful, at the same time you will be confusing whether you really like him/her or just your feeling is fooling around. Have you ever think that you just need someone to occupy your empty heart? Or, you just pick anyone who is ok and compatible with you to court even you just know him/her not more than 6 month? Have you ever thought that you are using your heart to think but not your mind, your heart has conquered your feeling? You can said, it’s the love at first sight, but I never believe in that way. It’s just the feeling of lust not love. Think about it carefully.

First time you said you like that one girl, then when she had rejected for some reasons, you give up and court another one girl. No problem right, because since she’s not the right person. Here’s the problem, you just knew both of the girl for 3 months. Then in the 3 months, the feeling can change so drastically? So, is this lust or love?

For me, I don’t believe in love at first sight, because everything happened for just chemistry. To find someone who is really suitable for you, you need time to observe. Gone through once is just enough experience to me. I just don’t want to simply pick one and go on a relationship. If he has faith in waiting for me, then he’s maybe the right person. After all, feeling is also important, what is the point of having someone who is suitable but has no feeling. It is just like wearing clothes that fit you but you don’t like it.

I choose on flirting for some reasons. Maybe someday I will stop it if I’ve found someone who is really suitable. Because you never know, the art of falling in love and then broke up after a while is really hurting. It is just indescribable in words.

Just make you feeling as simple as you can and don’t let any of your emotions take over you. Think it carefully and make your decision wisely enough. After all, it’s just a feeling. Take your time to digest. Use your brain and mind to think not your heart in making decisions. X)

I do admit that in some cases, some couple managed to go till the end. And here I really wished them to have a happy ending; I just love to see couple. KAKA! X)) “love makes the world go around”.

and good luck guys. X))
gambate for tomorrow!

Wednesday, September 9, 2009

Currently x)

“Changing position”, I mean I’ve changed and carry my laptop to my bed, Is exactly on my bed. Nothing, just want to see the light and the skies, cause my bed is facing the window. Kinda miss the sunlight x)) and now I’m studying on my bed, I am sitting on the floor and act like the bed is the desk. Lol. I enjoyed doing that.
Currently busy for the final examination for this semester. I am wondering whether we can still meet and chat like this after we will be going on separate way for the next semester. I hope our relationship will be the same; after all we need to grow up.
A lot of thing happened recently, relationship, either on friendship or lover-ship… everything is moving on its own way. I see through everything and realize something, “just be grateful” and “everything happened for a reason”. The feeling of being abundant by others is really disturbing and shit. I knew because I’ve gone through the shit before. Be positive and act nothing, maybe others are not doing it on purpose. Just don’t let the small matter make your days worsen… its not worth at all, brighten your days with smiles and laughter x))
Sometimes we just don’t realize families are the one who will support us forever. They will by our side no matter what, lovers will leaves us, friends will turn you over but family are the one who will not do that… be appreciate whenever by their side, just be appreciate… and I currently missed them so much. I know sometimes I do angry and scold you all but I’m not doing it on purpose, it’s just that I also have my own opinion, and I know what I am doing… and I just want to say, I’m sorry if I’ve hurt you all… scar will be there but I promise I will improve myself, I mean my attitude towards you all… x((
Sigh, we walked, we talked, we laughed, we sang, we chatted; we are doing all everything…together!
I will never forget you guys, all these 3 months are really wonderful memories you guys have created! I’m sure that I will laugh and smile alone when I’m thinking of you guys… even in the dreams. X))
Cool! I love you guys! And gambateh in the final exam!

Friday, September 4, 2009


What now?

I guess i've let him go... I give myself a chance, a chance to accept others..

But, If i open my heart again, sigh would it be the same like my old case? Or..something different?

If i say, i like him...erm, actually is another him...what will he think of?

Now, i'm pressing myself from being showing my true feeling. Kindda easy to do that, just forget and pretend... but, recently, he really made me worry...

I don't know.

And i don't wana know...

Wednesday, September 2, 2009

suicide is painless?

Things get so complicated lately, especially dealing with my family members. Suxx is all on word I can describe about my feeling. They keep relate me with problems which I don’t think is very very important, it’s just a small matter but they keep it long and lasting and forever. Just like this case. OMG, just gimme a break la!! I promise I can do it, I sure I can make it! And, my study is nothing kindda related to these things. I just don’t understand why they keep telling me not to do this and that,. I KNOW what I am thinking and what decision I’m going to take. Okey, I admit that in this case is really my fault! But, please don’t make it serious and relate it to my study, Fuck lo. I hate people accused me with a thing that which I don’t really meant it.

These days, my mood really down to zero and I have limited tolerance. I know the reasons, and I’m still searching for the best solutions. I keep pushing myself to the limit, and make myself happier than usual, act like nothing ever happened, yes, I did it! But whenever I’m alone and alone and alone again in my room, those problems keep coming heading towards me, it’s just like the rain that will never stop. I really don’t know what to do… and I nearly…

Someone save my life. And I do appreciate him. Thanks. A LOT. I f not I don’t think I can see the world today. X)

Someone asked me to write my happy episodes in this blog. But I need to explain here that, I don’t and can’t find any suitable place for me to release my stress, so blogging is one of my way to express out what I feel bad. I just think that you guys can see my happy face everyday, so I need not to emphasis here again, lols… and now, you guys can see what a bad days I gone through lately… so soo-o-rry, no happy news here… x( maybe one day I will try to do that!