Saturday, March 12, 2011

What a day...

It's the assignments week dude ;( sad case when I think about Law. Law make my life miserable, precisely, is our life! Totally have no idea how to start it, do it and finish it up. Crack my head thinking about it, nearly give up the halfway... hopefully I can have time to finish up another half before the due date.

Yesterday, Tsunami happen in Japan. And there are tsunami alert around. I just hope everyone is free and safe. Hope God will bless us all, and lets pray for the tsunami victims. *pray*. Sometimes, something make us feel that we should be more graceful about what we have now... Living in Malaysia with families members or the loved one around, we should feel blessed! :)

He came to see me, umm, is came to give back my bus ticket. I was so damn clumsy left my bus ticket in his car.. and he drive all along to Kampar just to give it back. He scare I miss my bus xD~ And he just back to Ipoh. And I started to miss him badly. He bought me Domino's pizza. And it was my first time to taste it. VERY SUPER NICE. Thousand times better than Pizza Hut! I recommend that guys should try it at least once! =) Thousand time thanks to him too. Thank you lover <3

Today 0915am bus to Terengganu. Hopefully the bus driver will bring me to destination safely. I miss my family so much!

Till now, chao~ gudnyte peeps ;)

Monday, March 7, 2011

When words become nothing.

I feel guilty. I feel sadder. 
Unable to talk, unable to take it out...
Maybe we just want to buried it, deep inside our heart..

I think I will cry harder when I think of it...
And I will keep on crying and crying...
Hope that you will forgive me...

I silent, because I have nothing fun to talk each time I think of what I did...
I silent, because I don't wish my word would ever hurt you...
I silent, because this represent how guilty I'm am...
I silent, because... I know my words wouldn't heal you...
my words will only bring sadness into your life...

Sorry that I love you.

I did something which I admit it was my fault. I don't know how to communicate with you about my sorry. But I know you wouldn't like to talk about that anymore. You want me to regret for what I'm doing. I will, for half. :) Another half is I won't admit on behalf of myself. She want to be more happy. So she is being naughty.

*Forgive me*

I miss how you hug me, how you touch me. 
I miss how you argue with me about small matter.
I miss how you tease me at my mad laugh.
I miss how you take my hand and hold them.
I miss how you look into my eyes and they tell me you are real.

It's more than a half year. I hope we can go through the bad times... 
coz' I need you when I'm in the good time. I want to share it with you. 


Sunday, March 6, 2011

Lie and to be lied

Last night, I created a mess again. I'm not sure what I'm doing, but for sure I know what are the consequences. The weird thing is, I hope he is angry at me, I hope he will scold me. I hope he will shout at me and tell me why I can't do such thing.

I lied. I'm a bitch?  Just keep it to yourself :)
Even if I'm a bitch, I just gain my freedom back. I don't wish to follow what my mind doesn't want to. I just want to walk on my way, live my life, enjoy the moment. Maybe you think it is naive. Yes, I am. Naive in living my life? What's is the wrong of hanging out and enjoying with friends? A sin? Or you think my friends are rubbish?

I lied. I 'm not a good girlfriend? Well thoughts. :)
Do you ever recall back why do I will lie in such thing? Do you ever care why I was doing that?
I can tell you, the answer is NO. When people is being cheated by someone, all they think is, " You cheat on me. I hurt. I won't care about you anymore".. They will put all the thoughts on themselves and never realize there's reason behind something.

Since no one will ever care WHY I did that and just asking for WHO, WHEN, WHERE.. Then I don't give a damn in explaining anymore. I'm just a bad girl. Sorry is all I can confess. Tho can't return back the time, but I still not regret in doing what I wanted to do. You know my habit when I'm down. That's me and myself. You can't change it, it just like you can't change your style sleeping with two pillows. Everyone has their own way of thinking, just depends on how others judge them.

I appreciate how you asking me not to go out. But, does it fair enough when I'm the one who is very down at here, with no one beside me, consult me? I admit. Last night, I'm sad because of you. You are apart of the reason. I lied.

But at last, I tell you the truth.Because I know if I keep going to cheat you, there's no return for our relationship anymore. Honesty is the choice even if I know I will hurt you. Truth may hurt, but lies may kill.