Wednesday, October 21, 2009

If You Read This

Everything happened just so sudden. I don’t know how to react, maybe one of the best way is… ignoring. But I know, I can’t do this forever, I still need to face the problem. I hope I will have enough courage to face him, unfortunately, no. If you ask me once again, I will still stand on my own decision. I can’t accept that things turn to me once again. I can’t trust people who change his or her mind so suddenly, especially dealing with feeling. This is just too scary.

Maybe, the problem came from me. Maybe I’m just too close with him. I should know that my action will cause another possibility. Just blame on me. My intend just to be friend with him, maybe some kind of close but I don’t mean to go beyond this tie. I don’t know how to tell him this, because some fact might hurt him. If you saw my blog, hope you know that I don’t mean to ignore you… sorry for yesterday. Just so sorry.

Monday, October 19, 2009

so called "SOUL-hurt"

It's hurt, too hurt to recall those memories.

I knew you since the first week of Semester One. We met by chance and fate. I’m so happy to know you, really. Hanging out with you really gives me a lot of fun, and you do make me happy. Sometimes, we do argue because of small matter, but that doesn’t matter, because this has taught me to accept another you…

Something happened in the middle, caused our relationship to slowly fade away day by day. I have decided to let you go; hoping that you would leave me a little dignity inside myself. I then knew a lot of friends, I joined them… learnt to leave you alone really tough enough. But I’ve no other choice. I blamed myself for too naïve, too childish… and on everything that can hurt me…

It’s been about 4 months, in the four months; you do make something that can heal our relationship…you told me something that against my thought… and I still stand on my own principe, that we are impossible. We are still friends, but I do ignore you a lot. And until just now… you asked me something. I think my action just too mean. I’m sorry… really sorry! Maybe I’m still trying to avoid the truth… the so called soul-hurt. I just want you to give me a little dignity… not much.

Sunday, October 18, 2009


Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn't it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up. You build up all these defenses, you build up a whole suit of armor, so that nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life...You give them a piece of you. They didn't ask for it. They did something dumb one day, like kiss you or smile at you, and then your life isn't your own anymore. Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness, so simple a phrase like 'maybe we should be just friends' turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart. It hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. It's a soul-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain. I hate love.

Neil Gainman

Thursday, October 1, 2009

lOOkin' UP, sigh !

I'm not okey today. X(

It's raining right now. And my feeling is totally hundred percent down!

Sigh. Something make me dissapointed, accurately, someone!

I don't know how to talk about this,.

*leave me alone*