deservation

yah.TRULY.i'm deserve.
All relatives started to call.And.I don't know..
Now,i am just like..AIDS patient.Everybody,include my parents..
started to show me their sympthoms of "disqualification" on me.
Getting depress.
I guess.in one-3 months..i will DIE immedietly..
So,now.i really hope to go to ANY university asap.

Depressing.
Yah.i know my fault.I know i deserve it.
Yah,i varnished yr dreams..
Yah,I am ungrateful personn..
So,now i hate myself..much..

But,why my parents?
I just,need yr support on me right now.
Yah,true..they are angry,dissapointed,shamed,.etc..list go on..
but,to tell you the truth..i want to CONTINUE my studies.
Dats all.

I promise.I will prove to you dat,I can success!!Beat those in U.Trust me!!
JUST ONE CHANCE!!

Now,Im fighting and encouraging myself.ALONE.
Seems like,theres only myself in this world.
I am ok.I will go on my life..

If,I am brave enaf..i will not in this world..anymore!!
For what i live?
For my parents,to show them..to prove to them.I CAN DO IT!

*its not the end of the world.just start a new chapter.change!its just a punishment.i can accept it,i wont give up*

nobody will trust my dream,and support me nmore.i just nid to trust myself.
its a lotsa burden..i can..coz i cant do it half-way..
if not.i will more hate myself..