Tuesday, March 31, 2009

cal[m] blue

Its about 1 weeks since we had breakup.Yes.Is me and him.I thought he would be the last,or at least 1 year.But,i never thought,it only took us about,7 months and double couple days before our celebration for the next 8 month.

Theres been a lot of questions stick on my mind since i got my result.Friends success or goodnews got me hurt day by day.I can feel thousands of knifes snabbed into my heart.Right in the middle!!I was rarely contact with them.Maybe i want to be alone,calming myself down,before i can move on to the next step!But i can't stop here,right now!

I told myself that i need to move on.Keep on move on,till the end!Show to them that i can do it.Yes.I can!However,this is too tiring.Those news get me down to the bottom of earth everytime.Each time i want to stand up,theres some force that pull me down again.This is so shit.I really need a rest...in a sarcastic way nway..huhhu!

OKEY.My next target.Concentrate in my study!I choose acc finally.Not any science subject like bio nmore!I need to give up.Cause i lose my scholarship,I dun hav a great grade for my chemistry.I wish i could dropped it!lol.So,bussiness and acc is the best choice though i'm not so interested in it.I don't like it,but i believe,my feeling on it will bloom day by day.Try to fall in love with maths and calculating.I WANT TO FALL IN LOVE WITH MATH!!!grrrr.

I gave up on science BUT I love to know about biology.I believe,if i got bio course,i will study damn hard,cause its my fav subject.nOT TO SAY i will not try hard for acc,i wil,just need sometime to adjust!But,let's think bout it gain,if i wasted so much money on it,and in the last..i can't find any..i mean,is kinda hard ezit?except you r a professional.If acc,many company want it.rite?So,let's forget my "likeble subject" focus on the "marketing subject"..kk,ppl out there with science course must whack me afterwards.Hhehhe.Well,any job had their own way to survive..so,
If you feel smthng wrong with above,forget wat i write..PEACE!!

This few days i can feel like my love life had gone.Its all were the history.Past.All those boys who used to tackle me up,had gone to somwhere.Heaven maybe.So,this time i'll be alone once again,nothing special.Just hanging around with my mom a lot.We joking,chatting..fooling each other.Cause i know i dun hav time for it later on.Hhheege!

Is kinda boring to be alone,but..i guess i'm feeling okey with it!At least no more worrying about my partner.I used to care so much bout my last boy,I feel like i had forget myself.He?Caring guy too,but..his caring is kindda,i can't feel it!Let say,his caring is kinda tighten yr soul.Like,exm:"I wanna go for a party tonight",his replying was like:"oh,ok.dun be naughty.."Fine,If my boy know me.He wont askd me to be like dat!He should know who's me?He should know my heart always belongs to him."Oh?normal?"
C'mom!He used to told me the same things almost everytime i went out!!Like i'm a cheap girl!!I need a break!I need freedom,Is kinda sad to know when our work or mind is not done,but need to care for other people.Feeling guilty if not helping or caring,since we had a relationship,Oww.Im selfish?Nah!!If i'm selfish,i won't care for him dy.So tired..gave up early is the best choice.NO discussion with him.Cause i know i won't change my mind with my last desicion.Kindda cruel,but..if you want us to be togethere where i was sad..he's happy.NO MEANING AT ALL!!loll.

Alone is freeeeeeeeeeeeeeee...weee.I like my life rite now!!!

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