depression.

"Clinical Depression" : Doctor use this term to describe the more severe form of depression also known as "major depression" or "major depressive disorder".

Clinical depression symptoms may include:

• Depressed mood most of the day, nearly every day
• Loss of interest or pleasure in most activities (tick)
• Significant weight loss or gain (tick)
• Sleeping too much or not being able to sleep nearly every day (tick)
• Slowed thinking or movement that others can see (tick)
• Fatigue or low energy nearly every day (tick)
• Feelings of worthlessness or inappropriate guilt (tick)
• Loss of concentration or indecisiveness (tick)
• Recurring thoughts of death or suicide

I have 7/9, which is more than a half. And I took a test, I think I have had it. Depression.

Things happen this half year. Tremendously change everything. For good.
Due to this changes, my life also change. From little things, to biggest part.
I lost half of my friends, and my lovers. Generally due to my selfish attitude. No, is due to my ego.
I doesn't want them to know. Which basically cause myself to hide from them. Avoiding.
Due to my so-called "dignity" and "ego".. I let go of my lover. Yea, my "best" decision.

Now, at this very bottom point of my life.. I feel hopeless. Fear, confuse, everything.
Something sometimes are hard to explain. I rather not explain..because it is so much hurt.
I don't feel like fighting anymore.